Relatively speaking


We were laughing the other day, as we read the news; as two black holes many times the size of our sun, had collided. While nothing comes out of a black hole normally, but in that collusion, they somehow lost something the size of our sun. How can you possibly lose something the size of our sun, and then try and blame it on energy and gravitational waves, which were created from your union we laughed. I can imagine my father listening to me if I came home and told him that I had just lost the family car, and try and blame it on the heat wave, in the city. His reaction would have left very possibly a much better understanding of what a real heat wave feels like, on my butt.

I guess we were also laughing as time\space had got warped by the gravitational waves, which arose from the massive collusion, and distorted our sense of reality. It had made the sponge in our brains go fuzzy and everything around us seemed hilarious, for a change. As the gravitational waves passed through earth and ourselves we rolled in laughter, as it couldn’t possibly get any funnier. How often could massive black holes combine billions of light years away, and distort our sense of reality? Jane leaned across and whispered that given the size of our universe, it probably happens all the time, causing us to burst into giggles all over again at the thought.

The fun was getting better as Google proclaimed that such an event had happened a few months ago, and we recalled that we had been giddy with excitement around that time also. I recalled that around that time old crusty Aunt Mable had gone and joined a comedy club, just when that gravitational wave was passing through her drawers. It was a seriously funny business, that Einstein had predicted the existence of these gravitational ripples through time\space, but it was up to us to find that they were, the prime cause of merriment and mirth on earth. I find more people bubbling up with jokes and laughter, every time such an event happens. My mother was amused at first seeing my sunny disposition, but when it rose in waves at the merging of every Black Hole, even she got weary of the phenomena.

So now we gather together alone, Jane and me, and laugh till our sides’ ache, every time this event unfolds. We have to be careful not to be caught out in public, and have designated safe areas, where we can meet and enjoy the thrills in private. When I returned home the other day, my mother told me to go wash my hands before dinner, and to be sure to wipe that silly grin off my face, while I was in the bathroom for good measure. It is becoming extremely dangerous, as Jane says she can predict these events, but then sometimes she is off by a few billion light years, and we end up laughing at the wrong time. We are still amateurs and Jane is getting too serious for my liking, and keeps threatening to go to MIT to get her PHD, in predictive laughter waves.

I just wish her well and laugh again, as how many Black holes can it take, to swallow our galaxy and end this whole charade. Jane looks at me as if I am crazy, and wonders how I can possibly be so stupid, and not know, and smiles her superior smile. It is easy she says as it all depends on Einstein’s formula and it is only relative. That reminds me of my relative, the erstwhile crusty Aunt Mable, who has become a riot on the talk shows now, and I roar in appreciation. After all it is not every day that black holes collide to send this gravitational wave, which make us woozy. Jane it always depends on our relatives, I say in agreement, and we both hoot in laughter.

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About Rajiv Kapoor

Rajiv Kapoor was born in New Delhi. He was educated by the Jesuits at St Xavier’s, and graduated with Honors, from The University of Delhi. Rajiv Kapoor did his MBA in International Business from Penn State and is now settled in the US. He has traveled across most states of India, when he was working on modernization of Rice Mills, and understands their diverse culture and history. This book is a historical fiction, dedicated to his city of birth. His extensive research dives deep into a critical moment, in India’s long history, for his latest Historical Thriller “The Peacock Throne Wars”..

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