The concept of Kismet or fate is ingrained into the Hindu psyche; as we accept a lot of things in life that others of a different faith, may not take as easily. We allow our sanskars (past lives and actions) to define what our life will serve up to us, and then try to make the best of what it has provided to us. I reflect back on the 33 years of my marriage and how we came together more by happenstance than by choice, and know in my heart that all is still exactly as it was meant to be. Waking up in a strange town all alone on this fateful day; I can feel that while we are each alone, we remain bound together in the silken threads of a holy matrimony, tied together so long ago. These threads have often frayed and become weak; but the underlining principles of kismet have held us together, through thick and thin over the years.
Why does a man take on a mate; and then through the rest of his life struggle to maintain a loving relationship with a stranger will remain a mystery, that I will not try to solve here. Suffice it to say that such relationships are built on a mutual trust and if we do not honor our spouse with her rightful dues, then it is a wasted effort. Life passes in a strange myriad of colors and children come to the blessed ones, and the bonds strengthen as one deals with its ups and downs, often drowning and overwhelmed by its shear force. The relationships become more diverse; but at the core is the singular reality that because of this previously unknown stranger, life is now more than it was before her arrival on the scene. Her arrival may not have been grand or ethereal but in the darkest of times when all seemed lost, it was she who was my strongest ally and gave me the strength to plod on into the next moment. The currents of high and low that reality brings to us, are often of our own making and we are tossed around in a tempest and cling together to survive, and if lucky we sometimes prosper and our dreams come true.
Yet beyond Kismet is also the founding belief of Dharma and Karma; where one must always act to fight whatever fate may throw at us; and still fulfill our duty through our actions, and live a righteous life. Now that the early tumultuous years have passed; we can reflect on what this reincarnation has brought to us; and how we can strive to proceed on our path towards the paramatma, where our atman will eventually merge and be joined in eternal bliss. Our physical bliss is nothing compared to that eventual merging of the soul with the creator; and each of us is only the stick we lean on, to make this journey fruitful and easier. We can make this journey into whatever we want through the willful choice of our actions; which will defeat kismet eventually, and we will pass on to a state where there is no past or future. She is my shining light and creates our path and while I am often easily distracted and led astray by maya’s tempting offerings, she coaxes me in her small sweet ways to return to that Dharma, which is the eternal truth.
So on this day as I sip her gift to me of pure white tea and listen to the chirping of the birds in the cool morning, I reflect on that fateful day that she entered my life. She was full of a pure aspiration of what our life should be and I was as usual confused and muddled and struggled with just understanding this new responsibility that I had taken on. Ill prepared I made many mistakes over the years, and it is a miracle that we have survived so long together. Life’s gifts are taken lightly only by the fool and I am indeed one, and should have shown more humility and expressed better my need for her. Maybe one day she will understand what all she has meant to me, and what I could not express as time is fleeting, and we are weak and easily distracted from what is important in life. I wallow in my sensual pleasures and plunge into pools that are often forbidden, and in no way enhance the value of my life. She just laughs at my antics like the Neem Karoli Baba did in his wisdom; when Dr Richard Alpert gave him LSD to test him, and looks at a future that I have not seen. It is her foreseen future that has brought us to this place; where even though our physical presence is separated, we remain together in spirit. The Almora guru turned Richard into Baba Ram Dass and showed him the path of bhakti and bliss. She has turned me into this writer and I can only put words down on paper; and watch them disappear into the increasing data of the internet, lost perhaps forever. I wish her a beautiful life and look back on mine today; as I realize that these words had no meanings, until I met her. Love just is…, and words are too miserly to describe the experience and I embrace her to my heart, and may happiness be her companion for ever.