
India’s falling stock markets, rupee valuations and rising inflation are now spreading to South East Asia also. The Indian Stock Market is swooning and the rupee is in a free-fall; as global investors pull out cash, to invest in more developed economies; fearing the withdrawal of the U S stimulus policies. Indonesia’s market is the worst performer among the global indexes; as it has lost 8% in the last two days, and 10% since the start of July. Thailand once considered an Asian tiger is now officially in recession; with two quarters of declining GDP, as it is affected by China’s slowdown.
As a young MBA student in the US I had found little research on the Indian economy; and was delighted to find Gunnar Myrdal’s study as he had in 1974, received the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences with Friedrich Hayek for “their pioneering work in the theory of money and economic fluctuations and for their penetrating analysis of the interdependence of economic, social and institutional phenomena.” After reading his work on India I came away puzzled by his description that because India is a “Soft State,” development had languished and would continue to languish, for the foreseeable future. I never really understood what it meant at that time; as I had not experienced the checks and balances and disciplined systems, developed in the western economies. All I knew was that things just worked when you switched on the light, turned on the tap, caught a plane, train or bus as they were on time; as opposed to what I had experienced back at home. Having spent countless hours in foul smelling train stations where people heaped their whole house hold into the compartments that were stuffy beyond measure in sweltering heat; the air conditioned\heated splendor of comfortable travel was pleasant, and readily accepted as the new normal.
It was not till many decades later during the current reign of Sonia’s congress and Dr. Manmohan Singh’s second term that the meaning of the soft state has become stark and clear. It is a state that cannot take decisions and act to protect its own institutions. Truth needs to be armed and given the weapons to defend itself. It should not be a timid whisper spoken apologetically from the ramparts of the red fort; but thundered and enforced by the legislative and judicial bodies. The third rail of the administration its IAS and PCS cadre; should be held to higher standards, and allowed to do their job. Labor reform, land reform, equal justice for all communities, education reform, and infrastructure development should be the focus and not an afterthought of political gains. The pandering to selective vote banks; ensures that power is maintained, at a cost to the growth of the economy and the general good suffers, and morale and commitment of good hard working honest men is looked down upon. To be successful is not looked up to or emulated; as it is understood to mean that one is either corrupt, politically connected or at worse a thug and a cheat.
I read recently the recommendations of a leading body “Looking ahead,” the BBVA team wrote, “bolder structural reforms, including greater fuel price liberalization, land acquisition reforms, and higher foreign investment limits in insurance, pension management and the pharmaceuticals industry are crucial to regain investor confidence and shore up the rupee.” I almost laughed to myself remembering the soft state argument; I had read so many years ago, and wondered who could possibly implement a fraction of the medicine that is being recommended. I am not saying that there are not brilliant and dedicated leaders in India, as otherwise the society would fall apart, I am just saying that the power is in the wrong hands. The state has gone into the hands of leaders in India and Thailand for example who have accumulated mountains of rice in their Government storage, while the poor starve outside. The political economy of the state has corroded to the point, where common sense and law are byproducts and goals are set for the wrong outcomes. The state gathers economic power into its institutions; and disbars its own citizens from taking the right economic actions, to better themselves and pursue their happiness.
The road ahead is murky and fraught with danger as continued fiscal deficits and unfinished projects and unproductive state enterprises will continue to eat away the countries valuable reserves. There is no bold leader here who can persuade the legislative body and administration into taking the right action. We deserve the leaders we appoint in a democracy, as the public is neither gullible nor foolish. They have just become used to living in a soft state; and accept the latest scandal and shenanigans with a shrug of their shoulders, as this is how life has always been. There will be no Arab Spring or revolution here, as the people are too preoccupied with the price of onions and finding a decent place to live. They do however expect miracles to transform their life; as that of course is the essence of the soft state, where expectations run high and actions run low. It is a beautiful but poignant tale like the full moon rising tonight; which reflects the brilliance of the sun, but has no power on its own.
Crap shoot
The stock market is nervous and the huge gains that we have seen recently seem to have hit a speed bump as 10 year treasuries have gone from 1.6% to 2.8% in a little over a quarter. The time may not be far off when we return to a more normal 4.5% in the long run and that could make a huge difference in what corporations and consumers pay for their loans. Currently as the recovery took hold sales and revenues have grown; and driven up profits along with it making the current PE ratios look good. This was of course helped by the belt tightening that corporations undertook to recover from the great recession with the layoff of employees and increased productivity. This tightening cannot go on and labor productivity may be reaching its limits and profits will get squeezed from the increased cost of capital and stagnant productivity and reduction in the rate of growth of revenues.
With a change on the horizon in the Federal Reserve policies; with the expected departure of Dr. Bernanke, and also a hopelessly locked legislature, we cannot hope to see any relief from these sources soon. Inflation has been tame during the Bernanke years and the financial institutions have had time to cover the bad loans and build up their capital accounts. Even corporations have built up their capital reserves; and there is a lot of capital that can be put to work, if the economy demands it. There is also a lot of capital sitting around in consumer accounts; with negligible returns, that could come into the stock market, if the economy continues to expand. This is not 2008 and some of the excesses from that time; have been slowly squeezed out of the system, and we are intrinsically much healthier now. A lot of the easy pickings that come at the start of a recovery; may be past us and we may be entering the slough years with a slow and steady growth, given no new catastrophe hitting the markets.
Consumer confidence is off its lows, and manufacturing indexes predict slow growth. A tepid back to school season is worrying retailers, as they gear up for the crucial Holiday season ahead. With no clear indicators emerging; they will be cautious in their projections, trying to gauge the mood of the consumer, till the last minute. This could result in lost sales and opportunities; as they do not want to face mark downs and access inventories, if consumers continue to stay frugal. The international situation is not helping; with the continued slowdown in China and India, and the Arab spring is fading into chaos. Europe’s continued slow recovery is a positive and will help, but it is a far cry from robust growth.
So what are individual investors supposed to do, remains a dilemma? Does he step in now and then get burnt by a 25% downward correction; as predicted by some, or does he wait on the sideline till some clear trend emerges and loses the opportunity of some continued gains. There is no crystal ball that we can look into, and predict the direction the markets will take. The patient was sick and a blood transfusion has been given. Now whether the patient will take it upon himself to take the necessary steps to walk out of intensive care; and the recovery room, is up to the patient. There are many opportunities out there and we should never underestimate the human spirit. . Entrepreneurs and risk takers are still ready to pursue the next big thing. Some of our greatest corporations have arisen, out of the ashes of some of the worst conditions. It may be time to have faith and hope in the markets to do the right thing and invest in the future; and all this uncertainty may just fade into memory, as a real recovery takes place and unemployment goes down and inflation stays relatively tame and growth become more sustained. Only time will tell; as the crap table is loaded with money on the sidelines, and the dealer just handed you the dice to roll.
Wise fool

All our life we are advised to save and put away for a rainy day; our retirement and sunset years, and the fool and the wise man, make their own interpretation of how to go about it. There are those of us who take up this goal seriously; and make task lists, and set goals, and work hard at achieving milestones, which will make us more secure. We work diligently all our lives; and if lucky we achieve a level of prosperity, that allows us to enjoy life, when we are mature and in greater needs of the comforts that a geriatric population needs. There are others who fitter away fortunes; on the latest craze, and consume as if there is no tomorrow, and have no goals except for pandering to their latest whims. Easy come and easy go; seems to be their motto, as they live in an age of abundance and feel that there are inexhaustible resources available, and the more they consume, the more will be created, to ensure that they can continue to do so.
For the first time in the history of humans we have the technology and industry available to feed, house, educate, protect and socially connect billions. Malthus would be amazed that such a vast population can exist as all his theories pointed to the earth’s resources drying up, in the case of such an assault for our species. We have standardized the basics; and created the means to productively provide vast quantities of goods and services, to allow us to continue to prosper. From the landless pheasant with his cell phone checking the market price of his\her produce; to the engineer who is writing the latest program to support the technology, we can rest assured that things will only get better. This is the information age and data is now counted in trillions of bytes; and we produce more each year than all our ancestors did, for all our evolution. We continue to live a modern life with brains that haven’t significantly evolved; since the first humanoids walked upright, and started to use tools and fire. We have transferred these tasks to microprocessors and machines and our tools are getting more sophisticated each day; allowing us to use our limited brain capacity, for greater good.
This journey is just starting and as we are using up the earth and its resources; we are now looking outward and find that there is a whole universe out there, just waiting for us, to evolve and move into it. If we harness a fraction of our sun’s energy; we can have more than enough for our needs for millenniums, so what more can we possibly do with the billions of other suns out there? By just using the Sun’s gravity as a slingshot (as an example) we could travel to distant stars and their planets and continue on to infinity. But I digress as the passage is meant to be about personal choices and savings, and how to live a better balance in our life. The wise man husbands his sexual energy to be more creative and achieve more in life; while the fool squanders it away on the first available opportunity, to satisfy his carnal needs. The one I call truly wise is the one who knows both good and evil; and then evaluates them at each step, and picks the right path.
The sage of Omaha looks for companies who have built moats around them; and will continue to reward their investors even if a fool takes over the helm, as he knows in his wisdom, that surely the day will come when a fool will run them. The US corporations remain his first choice as he feels that they will continue to outperform gold, bonds and other investment choices out there. So to discipline ourselves and invest in low cost mutual funds or to build portfolios with dividend reinvestment plans; with a large fraction of our current income, seems to be the only way to go. He has made many millionaires among his faithful and imitators, and we can follow the same path. So we can deprive ourselves today by not taking that extravagant vacation or buying that must have luxury, and live a happier life tomorrow. Luxury resorts that cater to every single whim imaginable; will continue to prosper, but we will leave the money to our descendants to enjoy them, after we die.
The choices are not stark or bleak as life’s journey will continue either way. We just need to make the choice, based on our own individual disposition and character. Circumstances will make us successful or failures; but a clearly laid out plan, gives us more chances for success. So indulge a little; and do not let guilt or frustration overtake you, on the journey. Enjoy what life offers up at every corner; and then make a choice, and move to do what is best for the long run. Live a little and look around you and enjoy what you have, for this opportunity is here today only. Do not obsess over the future; as the present is far more important. It is not the wise answers that we spout out to all around us, but the questions we internalize that are far more important. Wisdom is not shown by what we acquire; but what we examine, and shed. The choices are not always clear; as modern life increasingly offers multiple paths to the same goal, but we still have to choose wisely. As there is no one path; pick one and then run on it; enjoying the milestones that you achieve along the way, as that is the only way that you will reach you goals. Let the buffoons make the noises and become the idiot who is not normal, as the wise fool is one who sees what others miss. I would rather let truth and wisdom; write my history, than be counted among the current wave, of so called wise men.
Darkness to light

In this late summer night I see the moon wearing a Venetian mask; that is half shining bright and the other perfect half is in a darkness, which reflects my own tortured soul. Every morning when I get up; or even late at night, I feel this war rage on inside me, whether to dwell in the dark side of despair, or emerge into the light of hope. It is not the moon’s fault, as I know that it just being itself; and it is only my imagination that is attracted to its light, but is also drawn into its darkness at the same time. It feels my anguish; as I wander in the late night with the darkness surrounding me, and at the same time, it lights my path. I walk on towards my destination, even though I may have lost my way. We are pulled and attracted by the dark forces of hatred, bias, ignorance and greed and at the same time need to keep our balance and move towards compassion and knowledge. As Somerset Maugham pointed out that in life we always are walking on the razor’s edge, and nobody knows what we will decide to do in the end.
The forces of good and evil, of dark energy and light, battle on across the vast reaches of this universe; and we are pawns in their games. It is so easy to give in and take the easy path and having started on it, oftentimes there is no turning back. The try it once; becomes a second step, and then we are running well on our way to a place, we should never have even entered in the first place. We give in to sensual pleasures and delight in the orgies of the flesh; and life seems to be finally rewarding our wildest dreams, with more of what we crave. It is easy to justify that existence was meant to be this way; and even question as to why would God created these pleasures, if we are not meant to enjoy them. Excess is good and the more the merrier; as hedonistic lifestyles and depraved thinking become our motto, and life is an endless parade of days and night that provide even more fuel to quell our mortal fires.
As I walk across the park; I come upon a picnic table, on which a couple has left two identically filled cups with clear water and two straws sticking out, lit by a mercury lamp in the darkness. Now I am even more mystified; as what do these represent, on this dark night lit by a stage like beam. I realize that the clear water means that the two sides of my soul are pure and unblemished, and nothing can taint them. I may color them in darkness or light but at the end they will emerge again, just as they once were clear and receptive to whatever I want them to be. It is my karma that writes on the clarity and I make it dark or light by my actions; but there is always the path to return back to its original form, as the soul is timeless and cannot be burnt, cut, colored or be hot or cold. My pleasures and my despair do not affect it; and it is just there and while I live my life, it is only a cup that I am filling. At the end it will be left on this picnic table and others will not see the colors that I painted, as it will be clear again.
So I walk back to my apartment and a great weight has lifted from me; as the darkness and the light of being, do not trouble me anymore. My past actions do not have the consequence to control my present, as only I own this moment. I turn on the light and sit down to write this, for the clarity of the water needs to be explained to everyone. We have the choice to wipe the slate clean, and start over again. The noise of the past is no longer a roar in my mind and it is clear and pristine again. This present is the only life I know and those who recognize me for what I was, do not know me. I grapple with truth and seek the knowledge, which only a clear head can provide. The light must come from inside me, and I light my own way. I dance on the razor’s edge; with an abandon all alone, for who else is there to share my joy except my creator. If your inner feelings allow you; come jump up on this razor’s edge with me and live life fearlessly, for this is the cosmic dance that he created us for, and neither darkness nor light will affect us. He is, and he made us free to dance in his clear light.
Pumped up!
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Slicing through the water I swam the lap and headed to the far wall, in an effort to get my much needed exercise. Lately I have noticed that it is easier to make an excuse; than to actually get started on being active, and get the right amount of exercise. The evening walk is no longer brisk but a casual stroll, and far from the running of my youth. The laps are no longer vigorous, and more of an easy loping style that just gets the work done; and passes the time, giving the illusion of keeping in shape. No longer is the body one big muscle joined to the bones; but it is more a case of bones that are barely moved by the fatigued muscles, with odd joint pains and strange strains appearing out of the blue. The occasional instances when I revive the drive to live a healthier life; the efforts are more subdued and the gains not as pronounced, as they used to be in my youth.
I remember in the old days I could run for miles and swim for hours; and come out feeling not tired, but refreshed. As the fat and muscles were burnt; they would also allow the brain to release hormones, and one would get a feeling of euphoria and well being on emerging from the field or the pool. Wikipedia says “The endocrine system is the system of glands, each of which secretes different types of hormones directly into the bloodstream (some of which are transported along nerve tracts to maintain homeostasis.” The body is a chemical and electrical composition and its functioning is mysterious to most of us; and we only feel the effects of what we do and it is these chemical releases that affect our nervous system, and our overall sense of well being and health. When we do certain physical activities; it promotes the release of these chemicals, and it directly affects our nervous system and our moods and disposition. The runners “high” or the pleasure of a long walk; are not just figments of our imagination but actually are physical phenomena, which the body has learnt over its evolution.
In early evolution the job of hunting and the training of the young ones to travel many miles for finding a meal; or the sudden sprint for survival, were potent forces that made us what we are today. The feeling of flee or fight are primordial; and happen at a lightning speed and instinctively, just like when we spy a snake in our path. The brain has survival secrets built in; and often time responses happen even before we consciously become aware, of the actual danger or lack of it (discovering it is a rope and not a snake). The heart pumps more blood and the muscles taunt up to flee or attack, even before we can think about the situation. When we take in food or drink we often talk about its aphrodisiac property, or its energy giving capacity, or its ability to reduce our inhibitions, or its ability to intoxicate and provide feelings of euphoria and well being. The whole pharmaceutical and health industry has been studying these chemicals and their affects for centuries now; and a good doctor will combine the medicines, with a good dose of advice on active life styles to keep us healthy. Attitude and resolve has been often found to be the difference between a survivor and a deceased person; in their response to a biological or chemical attack, to their body.
Our ability to survive not only depends on our ability to find the right medicine; but also in our ability to bring about a positive attitude that will help release the right hormones and chemicals, so that the body can do the work of healing itself. A morose or ill person who gives up the desire to fight, will waste away and another person with a positive attitude will take the actions, required to recover from such a similar attack. It is all in these minute amount of chemicals that the body produces, in response to the actions we take. When we meditate and still the mind; and allow it to be quite all we are doing is allowing the body and mind not to get distracted and stressed, from our external stimuli. We are allowing ourselves the time and the energy to focus on what is important for our soul. A healthy body promotes a healthy mind, but the reverse is even truer. It is our mind that we need to nurture and it will promote well being and give us the energy; to take the much needed exercise, or do the right physical things without distractions. We are often overcome by anxiety and negative feedback loops; that leave us feeling stupid, ugly, fat, weak, and helpless or whatever else we may condition ourselves to be, and it is only quiet contemplation that will allow us to resurface from this negativity and start on the path of healing and self-actualization.
Thus the next time that you feel a lack of energy or feel that life is not treating you well take a brisk walk, and clear your mind. Let the release of Adrenaline or Dopamine do its magic automatically; and you will feel refreshed and ready, to take on any challenge. When your partner or boss berates you for the nth time regarding a task not done or a chore not performed; let these positive releases energize you and you will find the tasks and chores completed in no time, and you can move on to building that healthy relationship that you secretly crave. We are after all the masters of our own destiny; and just a minute dose of the right hormone, goes a long way in achieving what we need. The high achievers are constantly pumped up and in a positive spin cycle; where each action fuels the next, till others around them consider them supermen or super women. They attract others like themselves, and as a result are in a positive feedback loop that propels them into ever higher realms.
So when life has thrown that oddball at you and you find yourself backed into a hopeless solution; and are lost and helpless, let your mind go to a quiet place. Do not let the stress of seeing the snake overwhelm you, into paralysis or inaction. Allow the mind and body to come up with the appropriate response, and move on. Nothing is holding you back except for yourself. As you climb that unconquered mountain; the strength will come to you, and the will to reach the summit will prevail. The mind and body are mysteries that even the wise sages could not explain. All we have to do is live our life to its fullest and the rewards should not be the goal, but just the feeling of euphoria that we get from taking the right action will be our own reward. It is when you stand on the top of the peak and feel that elation of mind and spirit; that you will know that the next higher mountain will be even easier to conquer, and you will become happier and fulfilled.
Refine we must

Driving down the New Jersey Turnpike for many decades drivers would smell the foul smell; and see the lights of the giant refineries, and wondered why on earth would someone name it the garden state. Then the refinery lights went down and slowly the production moved to the gulf states as it became more expensive to move oil stocks up to feed them in the North East. As the lights went out it seemed a portent sign of the decline of America and its petroleum industry and the oil majors sought profits and capacity outside the United States. Europe with its North Sea oil, the Middle East with its huge capacity of cheap oil and Asia with its burgeoning demand became the standard bearers for new refining capacity additions. A death knoll on American refineries; and the general demise of its petro chemical industry, was being called by talking heads on major TV channels. They saw only a continued downward spiral; as costs remained high, and capacity utilization suffered. Even today the North East continues to import a major part of its consumption from abroad.
Little known to them; there were still some ingenious folks around the gulf coast; who were ready to take the risks, to turn things around. Their efforts paid off around two years ago, as the major refiner’s added capacity at an unprecedented scale to fulfill growing American demand and also to add surplus capacity for exports. “All these companies are expanding their export terminals—Valero, Shell, Marathon Petroleum, all of them,” said Fadel Gheit, senior energy analyst at Oppenheimer. “Any companies with refining assets on the Gulf Coast are expanding their export terminals. …The profitability is not that clear, but the trend is very clear.” From being an importer just three years ago; today the US has become the largest exporter of refined petroleum products led by Diesel, airplane fuel and gasoline. The death of the US industrial capacity was prematurely announced it seems; and now it is well on its way from not only being the bread basket of the world, but also the refiner for the world. The petroleum hydrocracking industry is exploding it seems; and it is driven by cheap gas and shale oil, and at the current rate it will add substantially to the rate of GDP growth in the US. Trade deficits as a result will be driven down; and Europe with its higher cost of gas and petroleum products from the previous Russian republics, will continue to suffer.
President Carter had warned decades ago during the fuel crisis; that the US needs to become much more energy efficient, if it is to survive as a leader in economic development. It has taken decades for the conservation efforts to pay off and with President Obama’s declaration of still higher fuel standards for the auto industry; demand in the US will continue to fall over the next decades, as old cars are retired and replaced with far more fuel efficient vehicles. At the same time the US is finally looking seriously at renewals; and wind, solar, nuclear, ethanol, biomass and anything else that can be technically possible, is being explored and developed. Venture capital and investments in developing the fuel of the future continue, from the risk takers and entrepreneurs. The greening of America will have long term repercussions for the rest of the world; as more efficient cars, trucks, trains, planes, houses, appliances, buildings and cities develop. Warren Buffet is buying up solar plants; as if they were going out of style, and as I fly across the US I see more wind farms cropping up. After decades of decline new nuclear plants have been cleared for development and will come online to support the growing electricity needs of this vast land.
The national debt is an embarrassment to some; as we owe trillions to the Japanese and Chinese and anyone else, who wants the safe haven of US treasuries. In fact those folks are wise, as they are investing in the greatest economic engine known to man. What counts is that America continues to grow its economy, invests in new research and development and converts it into new technical products and industrial production continues to grow its GDP; all else is just rustling of paper representing doomsday scenarios. Talking heads will come and go; but it is the ingenuity of the people and the will to pursue the next big thing, that will make or break us. Today forward thinking people are placing risky bets on refinery expansions; and tomorrow the lights may go down on these ventures, leaving idle capacity and major losses. Yet I thank these enterprising folks; as at least they have a vision to be the best and largest in the world, and are leading us to a brighter and more efficient tomorrow.
Pendulum swings

The pendulum of time swings heavily from bust to boom and back again, and I see my fortunes rise and fall with it. The last financial crisis was an outcome of unfettered greed; as everyone participated in a rising housing market, and the dream of ever bigger McMansions was a seemingly free for all. Banks lent without collateral; or verifying the ability of the borrowers, and brokers sold houses and mortgages to families who could not ever repay the loans. Politicians proclaimed the American dream of home ownership was finally here, and the rating agencies classified AAA ratings; with eyes closed, and fees in their banks. Everyone seemed to run out of money at the same time; and the cycle came crashing down like a house of cards, taking some big banks and a lot of pensions down the drain, with it.
Now we are at the other end with a seemingly inexhaustible flow of money; and corporations and big banks sit on trillions at low interest rates, with no borrowers in sight. Once bitten twice shy people sit on cash; as markets give all the signals of a bull run, that seems to push unknown companies into stardom, and make billionaires out of young people with innovative ideas. My life savings have been whip sawed so many times; that I no longer know what is a rational, or an irrational exuberance. My future seems closer to flipping burgers; than flipping houses, as I eye my sorry life time savings, and wonder how did I let it all come to this. The haves have it and all the others are just grist for the mill; as I taste the sawdust from their plunder, of our ecosystem, and decide to try to drown my sorrows yet again.
Sufficiently fortified I put my toes in the water to test the temperature; and watch in delight as Face Book soars, and Vale looks as solid as the Brazilian iron ore it produces. A few batted run does not win the game, but the inning is suddenly looking exciting again. CVS has a perfect 10 rating for a must buy, and United Health is fast catching up with a 9.8 rating. Happy days are here again; and we are off to the races, as every filly now looks like a winner, and the more adventurous are trading options and more advanced tools that I know nothing about. The pundits talk about puts and straddles, and the new vocabulary makes my head spin. Should I buy gold or silver; as copper soars, or will wheat futures be the thing, or do we short rice with the huge reserves in India and Thailand, that they cannot move. The world is suddenly there for me to buy and sell; but there is no capital here, and I watch on the sidelines as fortunes are made and squandered on the latest Tesla, American cup Yachts, luxury baubles and private jets. Everyday low prices attract the consumers; but the multiheaded hydra of inflation, is slowly creeping up unnoticed as easy money flows.
Abundance seems cheap only to the fools; as I know we all will have to pay a price eventually, for all we want to consume. Rising standards of living will push our capacity to produce; and deliver us into a tail spin, or an ever increasing circle of demand that cannot be met. Will the billions rise to grab their fair share from our mouths; or will we continue to spit out the seeds of contempt, at their wastrel lifestyles. They are not productive; and have no desire to produce, so they will continue to wallow in their well-deserved misery, we say. We have gone to school, worked hard, become ever more productive; at a high cost to our families and friends, and deserve all that we have earned. We deserve better and so we set our sights on that next status symbol, just as if it were our birthright, while others are left in our dust. Social re-engineering schemes leave us cold, political efforts at a more equal state are marked as shenanigans of the ultra-left, and when I try to enter your country club you offer me a bus boy’s job below minimum wage, or leave me to play tennis with your bored wives, as an afternoons entertainment.
The pendulum swings again and now I see that it is the poor who are hanging on to it desperately. They jockey for better positions and opportunities. They study and work hard and make sure their progeny is able to make its way higher, in this new world. The shackles of ignorance will be undone; as MIT courses and scientific knowledge, will flow freely to anyone on the web. Diligence and effort will make them equal; to the one with the privilege to attend an Ivy League, or play in the fields of Eaton or Harrow. Micro loans and the NGOs will bring much needed programs and capital flows, to the lowest strata. Ingenuity and opportunity will no longer be the realm of the few; and each brave new soul will blossom in a new world, with his or her own achievements. The have nots will not be denied; and they will rise on the sheer force of the need for betterment, hope and the pursuit of happiness, which is a fundamental right. We only have to get out of the way and let the pendulum of human endeavor take its course. Time will wait for none of us and we better start reshaping our thinking and our efforts; as in helping them, we will only end up helping ourselves.
Look up and see the wonders

All my life that I can remember I have always walked with my head down; peering down at the ground before me, as if afraid that I would lose my path. The weight of modern life sits on my shoulders and I am constantly weighed down by chores not done; or duty not preformed, to perfection. It has always been safer to avoid eye contact and keep to yourself; as who knows what psychos may be around, or god forbid by looking up you may invite the wrath of the local bully. The safe path was the one where you went about your business unobserved, and unobserving of everything around you. So I walked away my life looking down; and not bothering to even venture to explore, what may lie on the horizon.
There are many others like me I realize now, who find themselves in the same quandary. They go through life as if it is a narrow band that restricts us; and keep their heads down, and walk the known paths. They are born, go to school, get married have a family and then pass away into the pages of history, like the billions before them. Unknown, unsung and unrealized I walked with them and am afraid, of life itself. I restricted myself to only knowing what came before me; and not bothering to explore, what lay beyond my comfort zone. It is only a matter of time before this life will end and I will pass away, and none will be the wiser for it. My close friends may say he lived a great and upright life; but they know so little because I reveal so little of my emotions, or my aspirations, even to them. I walk alone with my head bowed down; and see the tunnel that my life has entered, and all is well, and I am safe in my ignorance.
I read today that a meteor shower from the Perseus constellation will pass through our atmosphere on Sunday and Monday. It will pass unnoticed by many of us; like so many other stellar phenomena, that have come and gone in our lifetimes. It stirred up some hidden longing in me; that maybe there is more to life than just this downward gaze, I have held on to, for so long. I plan to find an unlit field and lie in it on my back on this summer night, and gaze up to the heavens. I want to see nature paint its streaks of light across the dark horizon, and gather again the wonder that I have lost. Maybe the horizons will open up new vistas; that I have not dared to look at, for so long. Where is my galaxy, this Milky Way that everyone writes about, where are the galaxy clusters that are the largest structures that scientists praise. I want to look again at the miracle of this creation; and with eyes raised to the skies, unravel the mysteries that brought me here. Who am I and why am I here and why now; are questions that I have never bothered to ask, and much less sought answers to.
So now that I have decided to leave my comfort zone; and gaze upwards, maybe I won’t slouch, and drag my feet anymore. Maybe a spring will rise in my step, and an uplifting of my soul will naturally follow. I look back at evolution and realize why Homos Erectus was such a big deal, for our survival. It allowed us to look at the horizon, and see things that others could only jump up to see, occasionally. As we looked we also started to plan the next hunt, survival tactics or travel options. When you can see far; you can also travel farther, and chances for survival improve immensely. It helped our brains to grow connecting neural pathways; that sprang anew, till now we have billions of connections formed and ready to fire at the first opportunity. The mind is now supreme and the simple act of looking up; has led us here, so why do we spend our life in continuing to look down; as if our hidden treasure was below, and not above.
Now I try to look up and admire this strange new world, which I have found. The skies are brilliant at sunrise and sunset, and often in between also. The cities are lovelier as they rise in their glass towers; to heights that would knock your Fedora off, if you looked up. The tall crane above the unfinished building has a flag flying high; and it is a testament to human ingenuity, that we can build upwards with a practiced ease, and only our imagination limits us, as to what we can create. Admire the burning horizon, look up to the ever changing skies, enjoy the meteorites streaking by in the middle of the night; as it is all here only for us. I gaze at the tall tower and the sky above; and see the brilliance of the sun cascade off it in a lights of color, all unique to this moment in time. The wonder is reborn, and my mind is alive to possibilities again. Too long have I been a slave to my fears, and my phobias, and unresolved frustrations, and it has led me to this living hell. This path is no longer my tunnel of life; and I break free from it, and step out to the horizon. I will find new vistas to look at, and new opportunities to conquer. I will reignite that passion and the fire that is mine by my birthright; and will cry out like the infant I was, when the life-force was still strong in me and did not give what it promised. All I have to do is look up and remember that we were unchained by our ancestors; and sloth and acceptance, is not in our genes. We are Homos Erectus and live in complex social structures; and are the only ones who question reality, and develop science, technology, philosophy, art, mythology, literature and religion. I promise myself to once again join the tribe of these tall ones; and look up, and seek that which was never found. In looking up all I am losing are my inhibitions; and new discoveries are just around the corner, and I know that such beauty can only make me one with the creator. We laugh at his wonders and we experience them together, as he needs to also be alive through me, and thus we are both fulfilled.
Pattern of life
Life serves up patterns that we must decipher sometimes, to find out where we are going. Oftentimes I find myself trapped in a Déjà vu situation; where the same patterns keep appearing and I keep making the same mistakes again, and again. We are conditioned by our past to react in certain ways to situations and if it is a situation we have lived through before; oftentimes, our reactions will be the same. That is why they says that old habits, are the most difficult to break. We are offered a drink late in the evening and even though one knows one should walk away; one takes it and downs it, as what will one more matter after all the others.
It is only when we come to know ourselves well; that we can even try to break out of the cycle of bad habits, and not blame the circumstances for our plight. It is easy to say that because so and so did this; or so and so said that, we had to behave in a certain way in return. We have allowed ourselves to become so conditioned by our upbringing; that we do not even question how we react, to the emerging patterns of our lives. We step into them like novices; and repeat the same mistakes again and again, as if our life is a story, that has been foretold by our fate. We are so busy becoming that special something we aspire to be; that we forget, how to just be oneself. Others around can predict our actions and behaviors; and we continue to make a fool of ourselves being predictable, trustworthy and reliable in our actions and reactions, for their benefit.
I step out into a new pattern and look at it differently now. Even the old patterns now offer me something new, as I realize after much introspection that even though it looks the same, it is not inherently equal in all aspects. As the economists often preface their future predictions with the caveat “all other things remaining the same;” I now know that all other things will not remain the same, and it is a fallacy to expect them to even do so. Thus how can my life remain the same no matter how much I want it to be repeatable, and easy to navigate? I have to change and therein, I begin a new adventure. Everything is different now; and nothing I know or hold true, has any value any more. To take each moment and day as a new experience and to gain knowledge and joy from it, is life’s greatest gift to us. We continue to squander this time, at our own great peril.
We step on this earth which is itself hurtling through space at an incredible speed; and call it terra firma, though it is unpredictable and full of fury and life. We look up and recognize the stars that rule our lives; and they themselves are in a constant state of motion, and only our mind perceives them to be like the North Star, as always there for us and predictable. In our search for recognizable patterns; we distort our reality, and in so doing limit our own achievements. We own a home, car, possessions and live with our spouse and rear our children in most predictable ways; reading tomes on how to bring them up, and how to shape their lives for the better. We love predictability and dinner at 8 (or 7 or 9) with the family is repeated abanauseum till our ability to do so withers, but not our resolve. We value the material things; and the spiritual are left to wither in a forgotten heap, and revived on holy occasions, like the dusting of an old favorite book that one looks at nostalgically, when doing our chores. Even tradition and spirituality has been reduced to dogma and duty; and the joy has been drained out of what used to be a celebration, of happy occasions.
I now see an old pattern emerging and know instinctively, that it has been disastrous for me in the past. I have allowed myself to wallow in self-pity and allowed weakness and avoidance to take over, and lead me down an easy path. This time I step back and look at it again with new eyes. It is the same pattern, but I will take it on by the horns and wrestle it to its defeat. I will draw on the strength that has been buried below my habits; and release it to find a new opportunity, out of this failing pattern. I will walk without fear into it; and emerge victorious on the other side as nothing – not even me, will hold me back any more. I will relish the new experience and sing to the joys of its creation. I will be one with it and my life will not be a foreigner to me anymore, which is run by someone else’s remote control. This step I am about to embark on begins my new journey, of enjoying finding the real patterns within patterns. Patterns that I fold up like an origami paper into beautiful creatures, of my own desires. This life will no longer be wasted on the fear of what may or may not happen; but will be fruitful, in what I attempt to make of it. All I can say to my fellow travelers in this life; is that break that old pattern, and learn to live again. You are the pattern that makes the fiber of this universe; and all else is here only for you, and not you for it. Seize it; act on it and make of it what you want it to be, as it is the only pattern that we should live by.
Pass the torch
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My breathing was shallow, my mind was running at full throttle and my body distracted with the pleasures, aches and pains of living; and I realized that the guru’s teachings were beyond me, to implement in this state. I needed to take those deep breaths and quite the restless mind and relax the body, if I wanted to attain a meditative state and this was not the place or time for it, as desire and craving were driving me wild. I needed to get into the light of the soul and only then would the lotus within me open and reveal the serenity of the moment. I remembered the story of the two brothers Banta and Santa and their quest for what they had lost.
It was a dark night and Santa was returning home when he came to a street light and was angry to see his brother Banta crawling around on all fours in the dust under the light, getting his beautiful white clothes all soiled up in the process. He yelled at Banta and said “Oh Bantaya what are you doing crawling around on the street in the mud and getting all dirty. You know Ma is going to get mad, as she keeps saying what an idiot you are. Now come on and listen to me as she has always said I am so much smarter than you; and get up and let us go home to Mom, as it is past dinner time.”
Banta looked up at Santa and said that he was looking for his lost rupees and why couldn’t Santa help him find them. Hearing about the Money; Santa also got down and started crawling around, looking for the dropped money. After 10 minutes of crawling and looking everywhere he told Banta, “This is quite hopeless, I have looked everywhere but I do not see it anywhere, and now all of my clothes are as dirty as yours. Are you sure you dropped it here?” By now Santa was hungrier and even angrier at Banta for delaying them.
Banta looked at him innocently and said “Of course I didn’t drop it here Santya, I dropped it back in the dark field but it is too dark to look there now, so I am looking here under the light where I can see much better. Do you think I am idiot to do the hard work to look around in the dark?” This made Santa get up in anger and he was truly furious now, “Banta, mom was right that you are an idiot, get up right now and let us go home and eat dinner you moron. I will make it much easier for you to find it tomorrow”
Banta reluctantly brushed himself off mournfully looking one last time around for his lost sum and as they walked away he asked Santa, “Santa, If you think you are so much smarter than me, how do you plan to make it easier to find my money tomorrow?”
Santa puffed out his chest and thinking aloud said “We will go home and eat and drink our fill and sleep well tonight and don’t worry. Tomorrow when the sun comes up and it is nice and bright and we are refreshed and less tired, we will look for it again dear Banta. I will even save you this long trip; as in the bright light of day we can look for it right outside the house, and won’t even have to tire ourselves and travel this far from home.”
Banta was duly impressed and said “Santya I agree with mom; that you were so much smarter than me, why can’t I be more intelligent and think more like you and save us all this trouble? You can always find the easy path for us.”
The moral of the story is that true knowledge is hidden in the dark recesses of the soul and we need inner faith to find it, and oftentimes a good guru can pass the flame on to us. It is a hard path to walk on; and in finding ourselves we will discover the whole of creation, and then we can pass the torch to the next generation. We should not be distracted by the so called smart ones who are seeking for it in an external light. Their intellectual path may seem easier but it will only leads us deeper into the manifold manifestations of Maya.
